There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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