Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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