just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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