hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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