better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
