I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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