I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
