I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
