Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
