new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
