Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
