i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
