People with herpes should wear stickers.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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