two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
