Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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