We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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