So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
