definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pants are for mortals
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
