At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish I only lived at night.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
