I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
