I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you made out with another girl for some wings
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
