Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
