i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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