This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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