I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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