ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You can't special order awesome
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
