on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is the high leading the old right now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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