I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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