I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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