um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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