he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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