quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
