So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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