were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
