I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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