Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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