Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(337): View more from Louisiana

He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now

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(913): View more from Kansas

Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill

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(862): View more from New Jersey

my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.

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(647): View more from Ontario

We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser

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(937): View more from Ohio

What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?

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(516): View more from New York

until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican

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(214): View more from Texas

Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?

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