Don't you send me to vm
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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