I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
