Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize