Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
