kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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