dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
