How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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