I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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