Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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