Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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