I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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