you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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