I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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