Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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