question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
