Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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