i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
