dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
