I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
