I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
