Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize