perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
