hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I smell stomach acid.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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