If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's never too late to be topless.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
