I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
