just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
