Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
