is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize