So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
